Marriage is not always a bed of roses. A perfect marriage doesn’t exist and it is normal to have those not so happy moments but what if there are more unhappy moments in your marriage than happy times? Is your marriage getting difficult and unhappy? All options and solutions must be exhausted before considering leaving an unhappy marriage. As long as there is love and respect in a marriage, it is best to do something and fix an unhappy marriage to avoid the pain of divorce.
Here are some helpful ways to fix an unhappy marriage.
Figure out the cause of unhappiness in your marriage. The best way to fix an unhappy marriage is to think back and pinpoint the time when your marriage started to become unhappy. What marriage issues causing the unhappiness? Do you and your spouse became too focused on your careers or other responsibilities that you eventually drifted apart? Is cheating or infidelity involved? Is financial or money problems causing the trouble in your relationship? Do you have a support network? Do you live away from your families and friends? Do you have children? If you don’t, are there issues preventing you from having children? It will be less challenging to fix an unhappy marriage when you know what you are dealing with. What were the big changes or the turning point that made a happy marriage unhappy? You and your spouse can work with the right solutions if you both know what’s causing the unhappiness in your relationship.
Talk to your spouse about the unhappiness in your marriage. Sometimes problems in the marriage became too big and unmanageable because couples refuse to face and talk about them. Talking with your spouse about your unhappy marriage doesn’t mean blaming your spouse for the absence of happiness in your relationship but it is the best way to bring out all the cards on the table and analyze what went wrong with your marriage. Express your needs clearly. If you need to spend more time with your spouse because you feel you are both drifting apart then say so. If you want to zest up the physical intimacy in your marriage then say so. It is also important to ask your partner’s needs and feelings about your marriage. Sometimes all it takes to fix an unhappy marriage is a heart-to-heart talk to finally understand why the marriage became lifeless and unhappy.
Consider couples therapy or counseling. Dealing with an unhappy marriage can be overwhelming and you may both find yourselves lost and confused. If you find it hard to resolve the unhappiness in your marriage on your own, seek professional help. It is best to consider couples therapy or counseling to address issues in your relationship and help you fix an unhappy marriage. Marriage is a complicated relationship and it best to exhaust all possible help and options before giving up on your marriage. There are many marriages who were able to survive with the help of couples therapy and counseling. Don’t wait too long to get help, it is best to seek professional help as soon as possible. Do not wait until your marriage becomes unrepairable.
Seek help from your support network. You may need the help of your support network to fix an unhappy marriage. Your support network may include couples who are close to you and your spouse, your trusted friends, your families or religious leaders/elders. Call in the people you trusted most and confide about your marital unhappiness. They are the people who care about you, your spouse’s and children’s well-being and they can give you sound advice. They can also help you get through this difficult stage in your marriage. Talking and confiding to people closest to you can help you feel that you are not alone. Everyone at some point has experienced unhappiness in their relationships and many people have overcome those situations and you can too.
Put less stress and pressure on your marriage. Do you expect to find all the happiness in your life in your marriage or through your spouse? That’s too much expectation and pressure to put on your spouse and your marriage. To fix an unhappy marriage, you may need to unburden or set your marriage free from too much expectations. Find happiness outside your marriage and bring those happiness inside your marriage. Do you have a hobby or sports you enjoy? Do you want to learn something new? Have separate hobbies or things that you want to do with your friends and different hobbies that you can do together with your spouse. Doing things separately sometimes, puts less pressure on the marriage and it gives you the opportunity to bring something new in your marriage that you can discuss or talk with your spouse. Doing things separately can help you both grow individually and doing things together brings your closer to each other.
Break the routine in your marriage life. Is your marriage getting boring and unhappy because things becomes a routine? The responsibilities of married life could make couples cold and less romantic. To fix an unhappy marriage, you have to break the routine to bring new meaning, new experiences and excitement in your relationship. Go on a couples retreat, vacation or adventure and make new memories. Start dating again and zest up the romance and intimacy in your marriage.
Remove divorce from the menu. To fix an unhappy marriage, it is best to remove divorce from the list of solutions because it is not an easy way out. Without divorce from the list, couples tend to work harder to save their marriage. Although you and your spouse are struggling with the issues in your marriage now, there are studies that couples who were able to stick it out, work on their marriage and decided to stay together end up happier than those couples who decided to divorce.
Be committed. To fix an unhappy marriage, you have to be committed. It takes a high level of dedication to revive a dull unhappy marriage. It is not impossible to fix an unhappy marriage but you will need to work hard and stay committed to achieve your goals. An unhappy marriage cannot be fixed overnight and you have to stay on your goal of fixing your marriage despite the hardships and you can only do that if you are committed. You might encounter failures and sometimes feel that you are making one step forward and two steps backwards but if you have a strong commitment that you want to save your marriage, there is a better chance that your marriage can be fixed. Many unhappy marriage became happy again because they stayed on the course of fixing their marriage. They stick it out and over time their marriage improved. Couples who went through hard times and survived became stronger and closer.
Marriage is a life-long commitment and there is no perfect marriage. An unhappy marriage now doesn’t mean that it will stay that way forever. The beautiful thing about marriage is that when couples fall out of love, things can get better again if they stick it out, work things together until they fall back in love again.