If you are blissfully ignorant (yes, there are still many that clearly trust their spouses!) The confessions of your spouse's emotional infidelity can hit you like a ton of bricks. You might feel that the ground slipped from beneath your feet. That is the first moment. Worse is still to come.
With every passing hour, the pain intensifies. You are beyond hurt. It changes your perception of your marriage vows, where you promised to stand together through thick and thin. The love you cherished looks a fairy tale. It is betrayal of love and trust from someone you thought was a soulmate. The feeling is akin to Julius Caesar's exclamation "Et You, Brutus!"
You feel has if the soul has been sucked out and all your emotions are in a blender. No, you can never overcome your spouse's emotional infidelity. You can repair the patches, sew them together and try to go on in life. But the hurt will stay and your heart will never forget. People, who say it gets better with time, are right. You try to accept the new reality but it can never be the same again, NEVER again. The hurt will linger on for years. A quiet moment will tear you up. Reading a book, talking to a friend may take away the pain for some moments, but the constant rewinding of the incident and plenty of other related details will go on and on in your brain. It never stops. Seeing a marriage counselor is important and you, as the betrayed spouse need to 'get it out of your system'. Some experience hysterical bonding for a short period.
Irrespective of the years of marriage that you have enjoyed, infidelity is a curse that has weakened many marriages and leads to divorce. Even if it does not lead to divorce and you want to put in your best efforts to get it on track, the fact is that the blunt force will leave a mark. It is like breaking a jug and trying to glue together the pieces. The marks will always show.
If you intend working through for the sake of your family, it is important to seek counseling because the depression, hurt and the pain never goes away. It just dulls away with time. Here are some tips to help you overcome the hurt:
• Do not hold your emotions, talk it out with friends or even your spouse, who might be feeling a little or very guilty
• Do not hold back tears. Cry it all out. You need to express your pain and betrayal
• You are in this position, because you trusted blindly. Keep your ears and eyes open.
• Consider signs of cheating
Though nothing can take away the pain of reality, but time will help you deal with the aftermath of the betrayal.