“I came on too strong and now he’s losing interest. Help!” Not only is this an emotionally challenging situation to be in, it’s incredibly embarrassing too. You’ve met a guy, a great guy, and you think he may just be the one for you. So instead of playing it cool and letting the feelings develop between the two of you, you come on too strong. You tell him you love him too early or you push him to date you exclusively after only a few weeks. It doesn’t take long until you regret it because he’s pulled back. Is there any way to fix this or have you damaged this budding relationship beyond repair?
Fortunately, this is definitely a fixable problem. Coming on too strong can certainly derail a budding romance, but it doesn’t have to destroy it completely. Men tend to pull back when they feel the woman they’re seeing is being overly aggressive or pushy. He’ll call less, he’ll be less available to see you and if you continue to be more than he can handle, he’ll end things. That’s why you need to take some action right now to correct your behavior so his interest is renewed again.
Before you do anything else, stop coming on so strong. Don’t make mention of your feelings again or the fact that you can picture yourself married to him before long. If you do feel you’re crazy in love with him, this step is challenging, but it’s necessary. A good approach is to try and view him as a friend, for now. This obviously is next to impossible if you adore him, but see it as a means to an end. If you can pull back and remove all those heavy emotions from the equation, he’ll likely open right back up.
For starters, don’t call him constantly or pressure him into seeing you. Try and relax and let him reach out to you. If he doesn’t, after a few days initiate contact again via email or text message. Just a simple, “how are you?” or “anything new?” is a good approach. You can also try mentioning something from the news that you know would catch his eye. Keep the interaction short and emotionless. Don’t tell him you miss him or you’re sorry for your prior behavior. Your goal here is simply to set a new tone for the relationship.
It won’t take him long to realize that something has changed. Once he recognizes that you’re not chasing after him with a wedding dress in hand, he’ll lighten up and want to spend more time with you again. Show him that there’s more to you than being the pursuer. Let him take on that role himself. If you do, you’ll notice the entire dynamic of the relationship changing for the better.