Many of the misconceptions of marriage come from unrealistic expectations of either spouse. Typically of people who get married at a young age or never had any long-term relationships before. Living up to the expectations you have of your partner will be impossible and will lead lead to frustration or anger and resentment. Identifying if you have one of theses misconceptions of marriage will prevent you from having theses expectations of your partner.
Misconception 1 – Hollywood Romance
Hollywood romance creates the most idealistic vision of what romance really is or is not. The fantasy of what love could be is after all, what sells. Why would not it be great if marriage was as prefect as it is depicted on television or like in the movies? Typical fantasy of the husband leaving a trail of rose petals to the bedroom, lighted by 100s of candles surrounding the room. The reality is this fantasy rarely or never happens and sometimes the guy does not get the girl in the end.
Real marriage does not have endless stream of romantic settings and trips with no drama at all. But does not mean your marriage as to be devoid of any romance or fun. Believing the Hollywood idea of romance and happily ever after will only lead to problems with your marriage.
Misconception 2 – Perfect Partner
One day you might come to realize that the person you married has flaws! Especially when people are quick to marry and not take the time to get to really know each other before they say their "I do's" are are particularly vulnerable. It can be a brutal wake-up call when you finally see the other person as they really are, everyone as flaws. The key is to love them even with the flaws and short-comings.
Everyone shows their best side in the early parts of any relationship. Avoiding this misconception of marriage can be easy if you take things slowly and do not put your potential partner on a pedestal. Cause he or she will ever fall off. This you can count on.
Misconception 3 – Happily Ever After
As most fairy tales end with a happily ever after, it belongs only in books, fantasy books in particular. Using Cinderella as an example, where Cinderella and Prince Charming end happily together into the castle at the end of the story. Imagine what happens after the story ends. Pretty sure a glass slipper or two was thrown around when one of them got upset!
Marriage is about sharing the good times and conflicts life throws at us. So accepting that there might not be a happy ending in store for your marriage or relationship. So accept you are not going to agree on everything, but respect when your spouse disagrees with you. Being mature enough to recognize and appreciate you are different identities with different outlooks on life.
Never let your problems consume you and your marriage. Check if you have one of theses concepts to see if you need to change your expectations to be aligned with reality. Problems will always subside if you work at it.If things do not improve you may need to consider other options. But remember you are not alone when tackling your marriage problems, talk to your partner or maybe consider a marriage counselor.